“six years ago”
As i traveled across the United States into Mexico and Canada in shock and desperation caused by years of bitterness and hate i became an outcast, living on the streets, unable to maintain a job or remain focused on any constructive influence.
i had a death wish and wanted to go out fighting. And then as i stood bloody in a field after being beaten with a bottle, stomped and almost shot in the face….a fifteen minute struggle, in slow motion, that made me realize that i wanted to live and something had gone terribly wrong.
It was as if i was floating above my body and watching as the three lost souls kicked and stomped my head. Just seconds before we sat on buckets and discussed GOD. And as suddenly as i had turned my attention the half drank 40 oz. bottle of the one sitting next to me smashed into my forehead and time was frozen. As i fell backwards off my bucket suspended in disbelief, everything moved in slow motion with moments of scrambling fierceness that seemed to go on and on and on and on….


Then the bottle shattered over the top of my head as i was held by the throat to the ground….The blood flowed freely from the pressure wounds that the bottle had caused but i never lost consciousness.
The thoughts raced as i realized this was it….the end, and yet i was in perfect peace and felt no pain. i could hear the on going concussions accompanied with a flash of white light with each heavy blow against the sides of my head….
In that moment i understood death and the passing from light into darkness and i was unafraid. It seemed that death was only a normal part of life, the changing from one form to another. What was important in my life and what choices had i made was the only thing i felt at that moment. As i searched through the timelessness of eternity i rose above my body and watched calmly as the murderous frenzy took place. i was confronted with the decision to live or die and i understood that all of this was my choice. i had created everything that was happening to me. i had wanted to die.
Then the purpose of my life revealed itself to me, as my heart filled with compassion for these brutal monsters. They had never seen real love and may never see it unless i showed it to them, just as my little Cherokee Grandmother had shown me when i was a child. i realized that we only know what we have been shown and my new mission of love came ringing through….i began to speak calmly to the three who orchestrated the hand of fate. “you don’t have to do this….i will give you money if you want it….i have to live….there is love in my heart and if i die the love will die with me….i have to live….the love in my heart has to live!”
Even as i spoke the words i realized their meaning….i spoke as the gun was pushed into my eye and the trigger began to squeeze. i jumped to my feet in one last desperate attempt. The largest of the three jumped on my back as the other two began to kick at my legs until i fell to my hands and knees. i saw the gun as it came close to the left side of my head and i grabbed the barrel sticking my finger into the trigger guard.
The gun was then wrenched away twisting my finger to the point of breaking as it dislocated from my hand. Then from the other side the gun came toward my head and i grabbed at it again. This time the clip fell free and i began to strip the bullets until they were all emptied onto the ground. This infuriated the bearer of the gun and again bright lights flashed with the impact of kicks against my head. The large one that held me around the neck from behind spat the fateful words
“There’s still a round in the chamber, bust a cap in this mother****er!” My heart pounded as i spun around from underneath the big one and kicked the hand that held the gun before it could be fired. My head pinned to the ground by the hand around my throat, i ran up the wall next to me with only socks on my bare feet. The voice of the fourth spoke “That’s enough”, and the storm came to rest as i looked upside down into the face of the one holding me and he shook his head, “You’re lucky to be alive” Releasing me, i jumped to my feet “Yeah, i know! And it feels great! Thank you!!!”

He shook his head in disbelief as he and the two others turned and began to walk away, down the long path that led to the gate by the street in Orange County, California.



Yet this was only the beginning of healing. i had made the choice to live but now i was left with the darkness i had built within my heart and mind….i was separated….spirit, mind and body. Each warred against the other. My self hate had grown out of control along with my hate for the system that had killed my people and destroyed the paradise that had once been our home….Yet i was relentless….i refused to give up. i knew now that hate was not the path, yet i had traveled many years into its darkness.
The next four years of homelessness would prove to be my most challenging as the voice of Love became stronger within me. All i had was a guitar and a four track recorder in my back pack. The music of all creation began to flow through me bringing me revelations of eternity.
Although i was only able to record a few of the most purest moments so that i could listen to them and heal….there were many other spiritual songs that came and went with the passing wind filling my body with light and courage.
All else was darkness with only points of light….Memories of love and laughter that would beam into my darkness and remind me of truth and happiness.
i had hit bottom and as the points of light came, i tried to hold on to them as long as i could continually slipping back into the darkness of confusion.
All seemed lost, yet each time the light came i held on a little longer and a little longer until finally after months of effort
i began to regain control of my mind from the anger and violence back to love.
Eventually the light dominated my thoughts with only points of darkness, but it wasn’t easy. i had to literally force my heart back open when one day in my darkness the light came and i wedged myself between the door of my heart and fought for dear life….
Within the sounds of this album of healing are the tools i used to heal myself and i recorded all of them so i would never lose my way again and others could be healed as well.
If you are in need of the guidance of wisdom and understanding, this music is for you. Be of good cheer because if i can regain my life and find healthy balanced wholeness, then anyone who desires can find their life too.

Be blessed………
ocean








Dedicated to my little Cherokee Grandmother who told me when i was nine years old that one day
i would save the world






This is a call to return to the NATURAL
way of things
To seek after the GENUINE NATURAL
“state of being”
To heal the land, water and sky
To return again unto VALUE and APPRECIATION of all things Animate
and Inanimate
Coming to the realization that ALL THINGS ARE ALIVE and are the children of the eternal benevolent force

Restoring and protecting the delicate balance is our first truth
Preserving beauty by nurturing innocence
Accepting and understanding the embrace of our living planet
The systems and workings
Inventions and conveniences
Of each present moment
Allowing things to take their course
Revealing the will and intentions of the Cosmos
As the body has many cells working together as one
So is the Cosmos
We are joined together in an equal part of the infinite function….
Discontinue the warring against the self and yield to the living flow
Inhale the ancient breath of timelessness
With each breath we are taking in the exhale of the entire cosmos
Each and every cell in our body receives an equal portion of the new influence and is instantly changed
Altering our entire body into something completely new
Exhaling this newness back into the cosmos
Instantly altering everything else
Without ceasing
Always New
O
Letting go of all attachments and definitions is the key to remaining in the moment or the flow of the soul
Releasing everything
Holding to nothing

Remaining open to the source
Beaming light from every cell like the sun
Seeing everything as living creatures without name



The Cosmos
is
One Living Cell
O

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